decided to cook dinner for a date. i thought, how hard can it be? turns out, very hard. i tried to make pasta. boiled the water, added the noodles… but forgot to turn down the heat. next thing i know, the water boiled over, and the stove caught fire. my date arrived right as i was standing there with a fire extinguisher in one hand and a burnt pot in the other. she looked at me and said, - we’re ordering pizza.
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