My constant thoughts on this...

I had sex with hundreds of girls. But in dreams. I was always interested in girls, they occupied and continue to occupy almost all of my consciousness.As my mother said, it was even in kindergarten I come to pick you up in the evening, and you have gathered the girls and are already reading books to them. Further in the same vein my first strong love happened to me when I was 10 years old. True, it was love, because all sorts of fiancés, as my parents like to say, were enough, but this one it still exists. In our family, the topic of sex and intersex communication in general was always taboo, no one told me anything, there was even a feeling of a negative connotation to everything related to sex. Perhaps that is why everything I did seemed bad, wrong. I believed that doing so was bad and that they would punish me for it if they found out. This attitude in the family, as well as something else that I don't remember, led to the fact that from the age of 11 I closed myself off, began to develop complexes and stopped showing interest in girls. Not completely, of course, but not at all the way it happens in my thoughts. Of course, there was watching porn both on my parents' videotapes and with a friend, then we bragged about it to the physics teacher. And most importantly - fantasies.
Wow, how many things were in my thoughts. However, I still have them. There was never a time when I liked only one girl this led to constant conflicts. Many other situations only confirmed my opinion that I was wrong, that this was bad. For me, this obsessive desire for sex turned into something terrible. When thoughts about intimacy occupy at least 80% of the time, but this is not fully realized, all areas of life suffer. Traveling in public transport, especially when there are a lot of female students around, leads to discouragement. Then you can't get your hands on work. Going to the beach is just torture. The worst time of year in this regard is summer.
I've been delving into psychology for a long time, but I haven't found a complete solution to this issue for myself yet. If a partner is just wow for me, then sex once a day is the minimum. This is, of course, if we can meet her every day. But you can get bored of each other very quickly. If you see a girl less often, then it would be nice to have sex with her three times a day. Now I have a regular partner and have sex with her several times a week. Usually, when you're just starting out with a girl, sex happens more often. Well, when you're still new and interesting to each other. In general, I believe that addiction is when a person experiences negative emotions if they don't get what they want, when the absence brings destruction and frustration into their lives. Yes, it's normal for people to want sex. But this desire is healthy when it prompts action aimed at its realization.I had sex with hundreds of girls. But in dreams. I was always interested in girls, they occupied and continue to occupy almost all of my consciousness. As my mother said, it was even in kindergarten: I come to pick you up in the evening, and you have gathered the girls and are already reading books to them. Further in the same vein my first strong love happened to me when I was 10 years old. True, it was love, because all sorts of fiancés, as my parents like to say, were enough, but this one it still exists. In our family, the topic of sex and intersex communication in general was always taboo, no one told me anything, there was even a feeling of a negative connotation to everything related to sex. Perhaps that is why everything I did seemed bad, wrong. I believed that doing so was bad and that they would punish me for it if they found out. This attitude in the family, as well as something else that I don't remember, led to the fact that from the age of 11 I closed myself off, began to develop complexes and stopped showing interest in girls. Not completely, of course, but not at all the way it happens in my thoughts. Of course, there was watching porn both on my parents' videotapes and with a friend, then we bragged about it to the physics teacher. And most importantly - fantasies. Wow, how many things were in my thoughts. However, I still have them. There was never a time when I liked only one girl - this led to constant conflicts. Many other situations only confirmed my opinion that I was wrong, that this was bad. For me, this obsessive desire for sex turned into something terrible. When thoughts about intimacy occupy at least 80% of the time, but this is not fully realized, all areas of life suffer. Traveling in public transport, especially when there are a lot of female students around, leads to discouragement. Then you can't get your hands on work. Going to the beach is just torture. The worst time of year in this regard is summer. I've been delving into psychology for a long time, but I haven't found a complete solution to this issue for myself yet. If a partner is just wow for me, then sex once a day is the minimum. This is, of course, if we can meet her every day. But you can get bored of each other very quickly. If you see a girl less often, then it would be nice to have sex with her three times a day. Now I have a regular partner and have sex with her several times a week. Usually, when you're just starting out with a girl, sex happens more often. Well, when you're still new and interesting to each other. In general, I believe that addiction is when a person experiences negative emotions if they don't get what they want, when the absence brings destruction and frustration into their lives. Yes, it's normal for people to want sex. But this desire is healthy when it prompts action aimed at its realization.