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My friend Mark once joked, " conflicts aren't a problem, they're a chance to win a debate."But one day his view of it changed, and this lesson became useful for me as well.
Mark had a serious misunderstanding with his girlfriend at the time. They argued over a small matter – who should wash the dishes after dinner. It would seem that what is the big deal here? But this conversation quickly turned into a quarrel about who was trying harder in their relationship, who was working harder and resting less. An ordinary day ended in cold silence.
The next morning, Mark came to me and confessed that he didn't know how to fix it. I said, " Look, in every conflict, it's not just your emotions, it's hers. Try to understand why she reacts like this. Don't defend yourself, listen."
That same evening, he changed his approach. When she started talking, mark just sat there and listened without interrupting. It wasn't until she told him everything that he said, "I realized that you feel like you often do more than I do. you're right, it's not fair."From this sincere recognition, the conflict suddenly melted away. They calmly discussed how they could distribute responsibilities so that both were satisfied.
Mark shared with me his discovery: "conflicts are not about winning. It's about understanding each other and taking a step forward. If you are not afraid to be honest and admit your mistakes, then any quarrel can be the beginning of something better."
And now, when I encounter such situations, I always remember this case and try to understand first, not argue. Conflicts don't destroy relationships if you use them to grow together.
